How I Came To Have An Unhealthy Obsession With Robert Pattinson: A Sad Tale by disastrous-uncoordinates.tumblr.com
-wtf have I gotten myself into
y m i doing this
This is my life and these are my choices
-Look at this motherfucker
< All smiling like
hahahahahhahaha
gotchu
HALP

I Used to Be Normal
For real though I really was
-I used to do normal things
-like NOT watch youtube
videos of Rob at 3am on a
Friday night
I thought Robert Pattinson was like…
eh whatever he’s cool I guess I’d invite
him to a party but I never thought
“hey, here’s a guy I could obsess over
even though I don’t know him & have never
even met him” like wow that’s what really weird ppl do I would never do that!
…Hahahaha but all of that was ruined when one day I found this fucking blog:
http://rpattzhateshislife.tumblr.com/
(Fyi: I don’t consider him
conventionally “hot” but
everything about him is
beautiful imo)

At first I just thought he was really funny
I gained amusement out of Rob’s hatred for the Twilight franchise he was in (even though I kinda enjoy the series)

Slowly the amusement about just Twilight turned into general hilarity because Rob is hilarious and does not give a fuck about your social conventions:
beingasked what he’d like to say in his
last ever
interview
about Twilight

It was about this time that I became aware of Rob’s many insecurities about himself despite his idgaf attitude:
-he sits cross-legged
a lot, especially when
he’s nervous/in order to
feel safer
As you can see, this is about where I completely lost it; this point right here is where it all starts going downhill
-THERE IS NO TURNING BACK NOW MY BEST HOPE IS TO TAKE YOU ALL DOWN
WITH ME GOD OR WHATEVER DEITIES BE WITH US ALL
-He hides when he’s
super embarrassed omg

-he touches his hair constantly
-It’s like an absentminded tic he does all the time
when he’s thinking
-also he has an
English accent bye
-Rob also exists in a near-constant state
of confusion about where he is, who he is,
what he’s doing and what he’s talking
about. And it’s great. -------------------->>

-Also his FACIAL EXPRESSIONS:

he has a ton of funny stories & shit
During Water For Elephants he wanted everyone to think the elephant had some kind of special bond with him so he smeared jellybeans all over his chest & then acted all surprised when she started following him around + sniffing his pockets like he didn’t know why she was doing it
-He also almost NEVER washes his
hair which would be gross but I’m
literally laughing too hard
I could have made this entire power point about his hair tbh
(The Hair
Approaches)
V
-he doesn’t know how to wash machine
& when he was living with one of his
friends in London they’d have biannual (means twice a goddamn year just to stress)
“washing days” where they’d
load up their motorcycles with gigantic
baskets of dirty laundry and take them to
the laundromat
-you probably think he’s really gross now but idc

As if all this wasn’t enough, he makes fun of himself ALL THE TIME
for getting excited when he
has a thought
Rob giving a
Super awkward
Speech >>>

In Conclusion?
Rob is awesome
If you liked this, then this person has done a terrific job of capturing the “essence” of Rob, I think:
//thinkingofrob.tumblr.com/
*Also lots of photo credit to this awesome blog, also one of the funniest Rob blogs out there imo:
rpattzhateshislife.tumblr.com
And way way way too much photo credit belongs to:
weheartpattinson.tumblr.com/
-There are literally too many things I could say I haven’t even scratched the surface
and yeah now I have a problem I’m not sure if there’s a rehab for this condition which
We shall call “robitis”
(also Kristen’s awesome too
& if you hate her you’re wrong bye)
-What have I done